Why me? It’s not my responsibility!

This morning I was chatting with my friends about financial matters and suddenly the word ‘breadwinner’ popped into my head. I asked them what does ‘breadwinner’ mean, they simply explained that it is someone who supports the family then pointed their finger on me. And I just realized, on that moment, that I am my family’s breadwinner.

During my childhood, I always hear this word coming out from different people I encounter daily. I thought it was something not nice because all I heard was complaints that they were tired of doing things for their family and cannot even buy something for themselves.

I reflected on my situation right now, I am living overseas to work so I can support my family’s needs, especially my two younger sibs’ education, they are both in college and studying in a private school. I am next to the eldest who helped my parents in sending me to college. 

Every month, my hard-earned money goes to siblings’ tuition fee, family’s expenses, rent, electricity, food, fare and debts. Debts credited on me because I am the one who’s capable of paying now. Money I never spent for myself, I dont even know where it went. 

My impression of breadwinner when I was young is becoming a reality and it scares me. I remember myself complaining why do I need to shoulder the obligation of paying my parents’ debt, sending my brother and sister to school which isn’t really my burden, and being incapable of availing goods or doing things that I really want because I got 0 dollars in wallet.
It’s difficult to accept that I am turning to be the breadwinner especially when I think of the obligations placed on my shoulder but I prefer to look on the other side. It may be a huge accountability but it is something to be proud of. Why? Here are some reasons..

  • It makes me a responsible daughter 

               Helping my parents in this kind of situation gives me the title of being a helpful daughter, someone who can they rely on whenever they need a help

  • It gives me the pride for supporting my family

               The ability to pay the costs of the expenses at home, education and miscellaneous gives me somewhat confidence that I am capable of doing and giving my loved ones’s needs.

  • It dares me to be more independent 

                As I need to budget the money that I earn, it must be really set according to priorities. I need to be careful in spending the money that will be left as my allowance or else I will be broke for the rest of the month. 

  • It feels rewarding

               It is satisfying when your parents and sibs thank you for providing the essentials. It is uplifting when they appreciate what I have done for them. 

There are so many negative reasons to hate being a breadwinner but it takes a positive mind  and a big heart to justify all the hardwork that I am doing for my family. 

“but it takes a positive mind and a big heart to justify all the hardwork that I am doing for my family. “

I may have million excuses to give up due to big challenges but my love for them is mightier. 
And nothing can ever change that. 


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